no more drama

woooooooops. i let a lot of time go by. i mean a lot. not just a month or two. almost a year. my bad. i'd love to say that i was really busy building orphanages in africa or playing with kangaroos in australia. but no. i've been in atlanta...maybe a few trips to florida, north/south carolina, alabama, connecticut and tennessee in there. let's see. i took a trip back to cocoa beach with some of my favorite people in the world.
i kinda fell apart from some of my high school friends during and after college, i got wrapped up in war eagle life, but a few of us have become close again and i love it. its nice to have people who know who you were, where you came from, and can make fun of you for the 17 year old dumbass you used to be. there are some that fell out of touch and i understand that's a part of life and it happens...its just sad. i wish i could change it, but you can only reach out to people so many times before you get the hint and stop trying. i guess i've never been the type who can just shut people out, hold grudges over nothing, or not reach back when someone reaches out. probably has come back to bite me in the ass a time or two, but i wouldn't have it any other way. what can i say, the 1993 westview elementary school citizenship award speaks for itself. HA. anyway. i spent the fall pouting over auburn not repeating last year's magic, ahh well, maybe it'll happen again soon? wishful thinking, i know bama fans. you're great, we're bad. we get it. thanks. you can all stop updating your twitter and FB statuses with how great you are and how funny it is that we suck now. it's annoying, and you're arrogant. (no, this does not go for all of you). okay enough of that. fall/winter keep me busy at work since everyone wants to have surgery before insurance rolls over. it sucks because i always work right up until the last minute at Christmas and am usually back to work a couple days after. luckily i don't get sent an hour out of town on Christmas Eve Eve to do a 10 hour case and then have to drive back through Atlanta to Chattanooga while almost everyone else's family is in Atlanta and they're not working.....oh wait.... i'm looking at you people in their 40s who live with their parents....i promise, i've let that go and i'm not bitter.

all in all life is good. im surrounded by amazing people, we have so much fun, and i'm truly blessed. now, i feel the need to make a PSA based on what i see and hear and read on a daily basis: play nicely and stop stirring up drama. also, stop making excuses....its no one's fault but your own if you act a fool, so suck it up, apologize, admit it, move on and quit blaming your actions on everything and everyone else. we're too old for that to still be happening as often as it does and im really effing sick of it. please and thank you. now, this also goes hand in hand with a lecture i gave myself 2 years ago about patron....clearly still haven't learned that one, but I'm working on it! this brings me to one of my favorite quotes of all time. i have no idea who said it but it's so true.

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy; they just promised it'd be worth it."

I'd hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

welcome back wedding season! So pretty much all I've been doing lately is going to weddings, planning on going to weddings, and buying gifts for weddings. This year seems to be another busy one as far as wedding season goes for me. I must say I enjoy them a lot more now than I did a few years ago. I think at first I was a little freaked out by the whole situation...like I had imagined a dialogue that went something along the lines of "hey guys, what are you doing? this is a fun game and all but we're not really old enough to be doing this yet right? do you KNOW how high divorce rates are now? can we go back to college yet? this sucks. you want me to wear what? have you met me, I can't walk in those heels. your wedding planner gave me a death stare. if the photographer uses the phrase 'sassy bride' again i'm leaving" I'm a little older now, a little less bitter (shocking, I know) and really enjoy seeing old friends and open bar situations (also shocking). Although I'm not budging on sassy bride. Dear future wedding photographer...you say this to me? you're done.

I'm not actually in any this summer, so I get to enjoy just being part of the crowd. This may or may not surprise you, but as much as I love being there for my friends on their special day and what not, I am absolutely petrified of those 10-45 minutes where I'm supposed to stand in front of everyone and smile and hold my flowers at the right angle all while hoping to GOD the Spanx are doing their job. Not because I mind being in front of people, I think it's more of OMG her mother will KILL me if I faint. So then I start to feel like I'm going to faint, which makes me more nervous. It's a vicious cycle of ridiculousness I know. Lately, with a little help from my pharmacist, this hasn't been so much of a problem and I'm so much happier of a bridesmaid, which in turn makes everyone's wedding day (especially you, wedding planner) that much happier. But anyway, so excited for everyone who has or is getting married this year...I'll be there with bells on!

There's so much to be thankful for...

usually I got on here to rant and rave about whatever random thing may or may not have happened to me on any given day. i actually had a plan to complain about my refrigerator breaking down last night and all the shenanigans I went through trying to fix that situation. Really and truly it was just me finding a bottle of Patron in the very back and telling anyone who would listen I was just going to finish it off to top off a fabulous day. Then I go to work today...and life is put in perspective once again (okay, God, I get it, thank you).

sand beneath our feet, big blue sky above our heads..

it's hard to believe I've spent the last month of my life in Florida. No offense to any Floridians, it's just not my scene. I like to think I enjoy it in small doses; but when I was asked on a cold icy snowy day in February, I jumped at the opportunity to get away from ATL. I think this little break has been refreshing for me. I needed to reevaluate my life and get away from all the pressure and stress that I found myself entangled in and that was being put on me all across the board. I was feeling really overwhelmed and trapped, so I think I just needed to take a break from reality for a little bit. When I first arrived down here I figured I'd be working 3-4 days a week all day. In the entire month of March, I've worked 4-5 days. Go ahead, call me a brat, ask me if I got a boob job, whatever you want to do, I don't really care because so far, I've loved every last minute of it. I've read a ton of books, got a killer tan, drank way too many pina coladas, and have had so many of my friends and family around for pretty much the entire time. I also made some new friends along the way, so I really can't complain. Not a bad way to spend a month. As some people may or may not know, one of my favorite past times is taking random photos of some of the ridiculous people I come in contact with...so with great pride (and some hesitation, if you know any of these people, I'm sorry) I present my trip in photos..so far.
this little scene was on the drive down..somewhere in north Florida...

day 1: mother nature's first epic fail
a little bit better, except for the middle aged drunk who insisted on feeding seagulls four subway sandwiches he should have been shoving in his own mouth. birds freak me out, so a mild panic attack followed shortly after this photo was taken

ahhh florida...thank you sir

someone forgot his pants at the hotel breakfast

on the monorail at the orlando airport...obviously this man never learned how to share. note my arm below holding on for dear life

mhuh...pet snakes...on the beach. this is using a major zoom, i was not this close.

the tannest group of 80 year old women i've ever seen. they looked really leatherly...and spoke very highly of Dr. Oz

the orlando news crew took a break from reporting all the homicides, robberies, and carjackings to report on the possibility of tsunamis in Cocoa Beach..good news..not likely.

this is my happy place

this is what happens when you forget to put sunscreen on your feet

im pretty sure this needs no caption

mother nature's second epic fail


life's a beach, i'm just playin' in the sand...

i just love this

who wants to be right as rain?

Oops. How the hell did I let 3 months go by? Oh I know, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Las Vegas, BCS Championship, and Penguin Awareness Day. Not kidding, I looked that last one up and it was January 20th. Good thing I know how to celebrate it right.

Anyway. It was an eventful Holiday season for me. I decided to go with my usual costume this Halloween and wore the same thing I wear everyday. Scrubs. How original, I know. But why the hell would I want to wear anything but pajamas when I have the option. And the douchebag dressed up as Richard Simmons has no idea that I wear them everyday, so whatevs. If I only could have gotten my flippers (haha, I laughed out loud when I typed that) on that penguin suit again...oh well.

Thanksgiving was spent at my grandparents in Hilton Head again (Benz update: still only in my dreams). We got there on Thanksgiving Day to a kitchen full of cooking. I think one good thing about my generation is that we don't get overly stressed out about having people (not family) over for dinner and needing everything to go perfectly. I've been to enough dinners to know that some one's gonna spill some wine and someone may put their shoes on the coffee table, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I might as well enjoy the ride and laugh about as much as I can. Easier said than done, I know. The oldest generation of my family always seem to get really stressed out about this and lash out at others. Case in point: You know, Thanksgiving Day, watching football, having hors d'oeuvres with the family. Door bell rings, enter, neighbors. Let's just say this little scenario ended in anyone not born before 1980 being banned to another room, away from guests.
We were also given several subtle little hints about cell phones NOT being allowed at the dinner table. By several I mean 82, and by subtle, I mean "NO CELL PHONES AT DINNER, YOU KIDS CAN'T GO A SECOND WITHOUT LOOKING AT THEM" Well, I'm pretty sure if your phone had Angry Birds you'd be just as addicted was not the proper response to this statement, FYI. Lo and behold, we're all enjoying dinner and conversation and what not, and some one's cell phone rings. Grandma gives the death stare to each of us, who all hold up our hands to proclaim our innocence. Grandpa looks down, pulls his phone out of his pocket, and answers the call. EPIC I tell you. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Everyone did, that's one of the best things about my family. We're always laughing. Even after we're put in time out. But it was only a shadow of things to come. I'm pretty sure my siblings and cousins and I finally succeeded in scaring the beejeezus out of not only our grandparents but quite possibly our own parents this year. My excuse for my behavior is that Auburn was losing to Alabama by 24 points, and I was pissed. Not sure when I grew balls and began to care this much about college football, but alas I decided that watching the shiteous first half of that game in public was enough, and it was time pick up some beer and bring it on back to house so I could pout and sulk in private. We loaded all the "kids" in the minivan my parents rented for the trip and stopped by the gas station. My cousin and I walked out of there with well over 60 beers, two four lokos, a Styrofoam cooler (grandma's fridge could not handle this purchase due to the large quantities of leftovers) and a Sprite zero for my sister (wild child).
We got home, I think Auburn scored so my grandma told me to cheer up (same woman who asked me 3 hours earlier what Auburn's colors were, then asked me what Alabama's were, and came out ready to go wearing crimson and white...I'm so close to that Benz I can almost taste it. HA). The highlight of this evening was Auburn coming back to win and my whole family cheering them on, seriously, you'd think they all were lifelong Auburn fans, and not Tennessee, Yale, UConn, or Virginia fans pretending for crazy me. It also could have been me making my Grandpa sit in the other room because it was good luck if he didn't come out in the living room with everyone else, but I guess we'll never know.


Anyone who lives on a golf course knows this is HIGHLY illegal and frowned upon by the board...but SEVERAL beers later, no one really cared.

After that epic Holiday gathering, we move on to Christmas. I went up to my family's house on the 23rd and had to be back at work on the 27th. Thank you surgeons of America, heaven forbid you don't make that 2 mil mark this year, Scrooge. It is my oh so humble opinion that NO ONE should have to work the week between Christmas and New Years. Just a thought, current administration. Make it happen. Christmas was relatively uneventful, I made my other Grandma dress up in reindeer antlers and playing a ring toss game with her. Hey, at least there's never a dull moment.

Well, I'm sick of typing already, I think I'll save New Years and the BCS Championship for next time...

oh you fancy huh?

Dear Apple,
I honestly hope someone from your company reads this. I will admit, I loved your first 3 generations of iPhones. I am a phone whore, I always have to have the newest, coolest, most amazing gadget. You have seriously seriously let me down with this iPhone 4. Not only did I sit in a Panera for close to 3 hours trying to pre-order what would "change everything...again" but I also made a co-worker/trainee go to my house the day it was delivered and pick it up to make sure it didn't get stolen off my front porch. What do I get for my loyalty and enthusiasm about your product? A piece of absolute shit. I would take my 2002 Nokia phone that had tha "Snake" game on it over this hunk of junk. I'm seriously hoping that maybe, just maybe the 2 iPhone 4s I've had (first one was replaced due to sensitivity issues with the proximity sensor) just happened to be bad eggs. Other people I've talked to absolutely love theirs. I had the first one replaced at an Apple Store (yes, it was easy to do, but this shouldn't be happening in the first place). On 80% of the calls I was making my face decided to hang up, mute, add calls, attempt to facetime, send random texts, add random callers to the calls I was currently on. I know we'd all like to blame this on me not being able to hold a phone correctly, but since I handled the other phones without any problems I don't think the blame lies on me. So anyway. I get my 2nd iPhone 4 from the Apple Store, swapped out with only a minor interrogation. Everything is somewhat good, I didn't have nearly as many issues with the sensor until one day I accidentally dropped it onto a driveway. The front screen looked as if I'd run over it with a car...twice. I had it repaired (gorilla glass? not quite) for the bargain price of $200. And that brings me to my current predicament. Not only does my camera "lens" fail to open (and who are we kidding, there is no lens, cute thought, but next time just make it so the damn thing works)but the top part of my phone screen no longer responds to anything. If I try and click on anything on the top sliver of my phone screen absolutely nothing happens....seriously? This is the best you can do? I understand that at the end of the day, it's an electronic device and sometimes things don't work the way they're supposed to. I'll give you one more shot Apple, you have strikes 1 and 2...don't make me cross an iPad off my Christmas list.
Hugs and kisses,
Jordan