things ain't good but things ain't boring...

My new idea for this lovely window to my life is to have the title of each post be a quote from a song. No, I'm not being philosophical or deep or whatever you want to call it. I just dread thinking of a title and figure you can never go wrong with lyrics. And yes, I know ain't is not a word. Thanks in advance for your concern.
It's been a busy couple weeks in ATL. We had father/daughter weekend over Father's Day with some close family friends from Chattanooga. It involved lots of drinking, a Braves games, and theft of private property.
It sounded like a great idea to borrow a piece of stone from a restaurant patio pillar (it WAS loose and we did tell the staff about it, they seemed about as interested in it as I am in going to the dentist) and it ended up as the new charming centerpiece for my patio furniture. I had actually forgotten about it until I saw two police officers in the back of my building looking around and trying to see on my neighbors deck. For about 3 minutes, I was convinced they were coming to get me for that stupid piece of stone. After my mild panic attack which consisted of running from the front of the house to the back, opening blinds and peering out while concentrating on remembering to breath, I realized how ridiculous I was acting and calmed down. (opening/closing blinds and peering out? smooth move, I'm sure you didn't look suspicious at all...note to self, don't become a hardened criminal). I never did quite figure out what they were there for, I always thought that house was sketchy...

theft of rock

rock taking its rightful place in kitchen before it was moved its current home on patio

I also had a relapse into my severe addiction to online shopping. I was doing really well since Ms. Sharon, the concierge in the condo o' luxury who had the pleasure of signing for all my packages, would look at me and say "Jor-an, I am going to come up there and unplug your computer if you keep buying stuff on ebay." When I tried to explain that I'm actually doing BARGAIN shopping and not paying full prince she just laughed. "Whatever helps you sleep at night". How I miss her. Anyway, I found myself on the couch on Sunday morning and decided to get on Amazon to buy books for the upcoming beach trip to North Carolina (all we do is beer, books, and beach). I get online, browse around and find myself with 17 books, a Braves hat, and facewash in my shopping cart. Immmmmmmmmmmpressive. Even for me. I saved myself a trip to Hat World, Barnes and Noble, and CVS all from the comfort of my living room. More time to lay out? Yes, please, and don't judge me.
On another random note (but what else would you expect) I'm in the early stages of planning a trip to Europe or Australia for early next year with my good friend Kelly (and whoever else wants to go?). While thinking about which one to narrow it down to, I remember that my other good friend Katelyn was trying to plan something to Australia a year or so ago. I think oh sweet- maybe she'll go, how fun...this is the response I get:

Jordan says: Australia? beginning of next year?
Katelyn says: huh
Jordan says: i want to go
Katelyn says: oh man my cousin just moved from there
Katelyn says: any particular reason why?
Katelyn says: do you want to hold a koala bear?
Jordan says: yes
Jordan says: i want to hold it close and pretend is wally, my stuffed animal from childhood
Katelyn says: Awe wally
Katelyn says: i want to do a wine tour of italy
Katelyn says: and hold the wine bottle close
Katelyn says: and pretend its my college friend boones farm

anddddd the world makes sense again. watch out australia, I'm coming.

So, since the purchase of this new place I have realized two things:
1). My dad is wonderful (but I already knew that)
2). I need a husband
There have been so many little things that I have to take care of that I never thought of while living in my condo o' luxury in Buckhead. Shatter bathroom appliances on New Years Eve? No problem, just call the maintenance guy on duty New Year's Day. He'd love to come up and fix that for you Jordan, he's on his way. That poor man said two things to me that day:
1.) How the hell did you do that?
2.) Girl, I think you need stitches.

Ahhh memories.
Anyway. Both of my parents have been extremely helpful and willing to sacrifice their time/sanity to help me out when I get in situations where I'm rocking in the fetal position. (this may or may not have happened....twice). I was extremely proud of myself when I managed to put together two of the dining room chairs I got off Overstock.com. (pay full price? I don't think so) Then, I got to the third. For three consecutive hours I sat in my dining room floor and tried to assemble this stupid freaking chair. I followed the instructions just as I had with the first two yet none of the pieces were fitting together like other two had...that would just be too easy. Of course Dave, who had to talk me out of throwing the remaining 5.5 chairs out the window and onto I-285, came down one weekend and assembled the rest of them, fixed the odds and ends and hung up pictures and mirrors. Dad.of.the.year.
So. You would think I would figure out, okay, maybe I shouldn't be assembling items bought online that arrive in 3.489 million pieces. Don't get me wrong, I can assemble, but I have my limits. At this point, you think I would learn my lesson. I buy an elliptical from Sears and see they have option for in home assembly and I check it. How wonderful! I won't get pissed off, Dave won't have to drive down again, thank you Sears! No thank you Sears. $200 for assembly? After I'm already paying you $75 for a delivery fee? Are you serious? No. That is insane. I'll put it together myself. I fill my mom in on the good news.
Me: "Woohoo. operation get skinny will begin when my elliptical arrives on Saturday"
Tracy: "Good for you hon, so Sears is going to come set that up right?"
Me: "umm, no. they wanted $200 for that so I declined it. But don't worry. I'm going to set aside my Saturday and get it done. I've already read about it online and people say it's really not that hard if you just follow the instructions"
Tracy: "............"
Tracy: "mhuh. your father is going to be thrilled"
Ye of little faith. So the damn thing comes in, I am mentally prepared that this is going to suck. I wake up early, do some stretches (not really) and trot downstairs at 9am to begin the assembly....from HELL. Actually, it wasn't that bad. It took me 3 hours to get the base and half of the "legs" done but then came the foot pedals. In my defense, the drawing they had was pretty piss poor. I tried for what seemed like an eternity (probably more like 45 minutes) to get the right foot pedal in place with no luck. I thought calling my parents to see how theirs looked and was put together would be helpful, although I'm pretty sure they had been waiting for that call all day. My dad answered and said in typical Dave fashion "It's okay dude,(yes, he calls people dude, no he is not an old hippie) I'll come down tomorrow and put it together." Gotta love that man, he is the greatest.
I'm pretty sure he also muttered something about finding a husband to do all this for me and that poor man will have no idea the amount of things I like to buy and "assemble" myself....

Found him. Ohh if only he wasn't married.