I know what you're probably thinking. Nice one, gambling and casinos and unlimited alcohol, just what you need. The truth is I'm down here for work. Its not my first rodeo with this town, but every time I come I still feel like I'm in a foreign country. And I'm not even inserting a redneck or country bumpkin joke here. Seriously. I do not understand casinos. I walked around for a little bit last night after I arrived...oh and not via my rental car, thanks for nothing Enterprise. Your website will be receiving a scathing email from me about the piss poor customer service of Big Bertha at your rental counter. She looked like she wanted to be a vampire. Needless to say I didn't argue with her as long as I should have because she probably would have tried to bite me or something on my way out. It takes a lot for a person to frighten me to the point where I just want to get away from them as fast as I can and Big Bertha succeeded.
Anyway. Back to casinos. After I finally got settled in my hotel room I walked around for a while looking for a bottled water (yes, WATER...I've been sick for about 5 days now and wanted nothing more than my flonase and some aqua). I was taking in all the people (my GOD, do they crawl out of sewers?) and suddenly found myself just steps away from the holy grail of Biloxi, the Hard Rock Casino, located only an elevator ride and steps away from my hotel room. I give it the stare down, trying to decide if I wanted to explore or just go to bed...its a like a whole new world in there, an adult version of Chuck-E-Cheese and instead of tickets that can be redeemed for a yo-yo (heh, you knew I had to mention the yo-yo again) you get CASH MONEY. All of a sudden Deputy Dan and his 4.3 teeth come up to me and say "hey there little lady. you old enough to be in here, this is for grown ups only." Normally, I would be flattered by this concept since I've been called a 35 year old since I was 12...not tonight. I'm annoyed, I want my water and the glorious bed that looked like a cloud. I looked at Deputy Dan and simply said "yes" and started to walk away. That would have been entirely too easy. Deputy Dan follows me around a little while mumbling something about city folk and then finally gives up to stalk the 19 year olds who have just snuck in behind me. I finally found my water, $7.95 later, and crashed before 11. Part of me was a little upset I didn't go explore the wonderland, but then again I didn't lose any money...I guess it's a win/win situation. When I left my hotel room at 5:30 this morning I was pleasantly greeted by a drunk man and his even drunker wife as I got off the elevator on the casino floor. Homegirl wasn't giving up on her Ketel One and orange juice. At least she was starting her day off right with the OJ. I passed some other patrons who I think might have been the same people sitting at the Slingo slot machine when I went to bed last night and almost went back and did what my mother told me "JESUS Jordan if you're going to get all worked up about it just go put a damn quarter in something." Maybe next time...
