mayyyyyyyyyyy

wow, seriously. I can't believe it's already May 2. You might say, well, who cares, yesterday was the 1st, tomorrow is the 3rd, let's sign you up for a Nobel Peace Prize. After I looked at you with a scowl, I'd oh-so-pleasantly inform you that I have exactly 4 more months of being 25. WTF. When the hell did I get so old? This past year has been a big one for me, I bought a house, and I'm bound and determined to get that Benz...riiiiiiiiight (or Volvo SUV, go ahead and insert mom car jokes here). But STILL. I feel like the past 3 plus years since I've graduated college have flown by. Probably because I spent the first 2 years working and traveling all over the place....when and if I ever write my first novel based on the ridiculousness I've seen those travels and experiences will probably have at least 2 chapters dedicated to it. The most interesting place I went to was a town called Scottsbluff, Nebraska.


When my boss told me I was going to start traveling out there I looked at him and literally asked if he just threw a dart at a map. I'll never forget the first time I drove up...I just remember thinking you must be kidding me. There was nothing but a few grocery stores, a YMCA, your standard fast food places, a movie theater (in which I sat by myself and watched the first Sex and the City movie...well, actually me and 2 women over 70 were the only souls there, but they left about 20 minutes in and gave me a dirty look when I didn't follow in their footsteps, I'm also pretty sure they pulled that from the theatre after the first week... but anyway). There was also a mall with a cowboy apparel outlet in it. Did I purchase a snazzy pair of authentic cowboy boots that I LOVE? yes, and don't judge me. They offered to throw in a lasso but I didn't see any need for that. I thought they were kidding, so they weren't amused by my howls of laughter when I imagined myself with a lasso. That wasn't my only run-in with locals out there. I remember being at the neighborhood bar (also known as Applebee's) and arguing with two 19 year olds about the south. Yes, the girl who was born in Connecticut and despised everything Southern (Chick-fil-A I'm so sorry) for the first 5 years or so after we moved down here was getting PISSED at two hoodlums who had no idea about anything they were talking about. They were genuinely shocked when I told them Atlanta had running water and electricity. (I'm sorry dude, do you see the cowpasture you live in?) Now, I say that I "told" them, but after a few cocktails it was more like a sarcastic shout with lots of eye rolling and annoyed sighs. Before this sounds like I was sitting at an Applebee's bar in Nebraska by myself I'd like to mention that I was out there with a sales rep who was also from the south but was oblivious to the entire conversation and much more interested in checking the Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiide's score. I think I made the townies feel bad because they offered to buy me a "Red Beer" which is something I think is native to Nebraska since I've never heard of in anywhere else. Basically it's a beer of your choice with tomato juice. Just as delicious as you'd imagine.
All in all I figure I ended up spending about 8 months in that place, but I'll never forget it. The people were some of the nicest and most easy going I've ever met. After me being the new shiny object in town wore off they invited me into their homes and their lives and I'll never forget it. It was probably one of the only things that kept me sane. I had the BEST steak I've ever had in my life out there and my eyes were opened to a slower and less stressful way of life. I tried to take a piece of that with me. I almost feel like I need a trip back out there to remind myself to slow down a bit. You know you have a problem when you're yelling and flailing around when the driver in front of you is puttering in the left lane and you think it's the end of the world. Calm down Danica Patrick, you'll get there in time.